When your tip-toeing thru rocky grounds trying to avoid the big rocks, it's all the little ones that end up hurting your feet.

Everyday there are constant reminders that in one way or another, in every area of my life, I seem to come up short, even if I try. I can be sitting at home minding my own business, and still I seem to have my whole surrounding world hating me.

Just when I think I'm gonna break, and cave in, I ask for a sign not to give up. I went thru this cycle again today.

Thinking to myself that my life is in shambles and I either need to get my shit together, or just drive my SUV into the side of the biggest tree I could find, I asked for a reason to keep going. In the midst of drowning in my own shortcomings of life, I woke up with the flu so I took some flu and cold medicine and fell asleep on the couch. This in turn made me a half an hour late when it was time to pick my daughter up from pre-school. After coming in the house the dog must have ran out, because five minutes later a guy was knocking on my door to let me know that my shit-zu was almost smushed by a car. Now really feeling like an irresponsible piece of shit, I layed on the couch crying and thinking that I needed my sign to let me know if It was worth trudging on or if I should just put myself out of misery, at least for the sake of others surrrounding me. Time passed, and no sign.

I walked out the door to get my son from school, and I slipped on Ice and sprained my right ankle AGAIN, for the second time this week.

i continued to lay face first in the snow sobbing my eyes out for at least five minutes, while the people at the laundry mat next door stared at me in disbelief, not knowing what to do.

After sucking it up, and giving the poeple across the road the finger for staring, I arrived late at the school to pick my son up. Driving home I read the school news letter. In the principles corner, it said there had been a problem with people driving to fast in the morning in the parking lot. Needless to say, the only parent who had be confronted on the issue was me, and now still, they had to put it in the school newsletter.

Once again,

I AM JUST A PIECE OF SHIT!

just go ask my mother-in-law, she'll tell ya. next -- previous DISCLAIMER