I was so happy when I heard my parents snoring in their bedroom downstairs. It was only 11:30 or so, which meant I could still catch some of the kids from the neighborhood hangin down on the corner.

My parents were military strict allthough neither of them were ever in the military. I was never aloud to go to friends houses, or hang out in the neighborhood with the other kids. My mother always told me, "That's not what proper girls do."

So every chance I got, I snuck out. Lots of times I would never even see anyone I knew. It was just the feeling of freedom, as I walked the streets on cool summer nights. There use to be a carnivel down at the school near my house, and from my attic bedroom window, you could see the lights from the ferris wheel. I could hear the screams of delight, and smell the funnel cakes. I use to sit in the sill of my window and lsiten to what seemed like the whole world experiencing life while I sat in my brown walled prison.

Night time was different, because after my parent's lights were out, I did what I wanted. On this particular night, I walked down to the corner, and there I found Ray and some other guy who was like 17 or so. I think his name was Mike. He was new in the neighborhood and all the girls liked him. He looked similar to that Leif Garrett guy, but with a tan, and not quite so girly.

I knew Ray from school. He was one of the kids who had parents that never gave a shit about him, and when we were in elementary school I could tell because he was always dressed so poorly, and he was always in trouble. Now that he was older, he was able to do stuff to get his own clothes. Though he acted stupid at times, and didn't always look great, I could look in his eyes and tell he was going to be an impressive man.

We stood there talking for a few minutes or so and actin like clowns. Apparently we were making to much noise because the neighbor lady hollered at us out the window.

The three of us decided to walk down to the school, so the guys could smoke a joint. Behind the school was where everyone would hang out when they were being hackled by older people and the cops too much, because they were out in the streets. It was semi- secluded there, and back then, cops never bothered to check what was goin on.

Once the guys lit up, Mike and I started talkin more to each other. I thought he was really hot, and he was three years older than me, so that was always a plus. I wasn't going to let him know I liked him, because I don't like to be rejected by guys. Ray kept tryin to butt in the conversation with stupid comments, and for most of the time we ignored him.

After awhile, Mike started to talk about how he thought I was kinda cute, and that I seemed pretty cool. He never talked to me before though, because my parents kept me locked up in the house.

Raymond broke in and said to Mike, "Hey man, I bet you she'd be scared as hell to kiss you."

Mike chuckled and said, " I don't know why, cuz if she would kiss Bear's dirty ass, I don't know why she'd be afraid to kiss me."

This pissed me off. "I don't know why everyone has to talk about me kissing Bear all the time. Don't even bring it up anymore." I said, catching my famous attitude.

"Geesh man, I was just messing with ya. But I bet you won't kiss me."

My brain started flooding with adult thoughts, that I should have had before I had went down there. I was only 14, what the hell was a doing in a secluded park with two boys, at one in the morning?

Within seconds, his arms were around me, and his tongue was in my mouth. This boy that was so rough, was touching me and kissing me so gently. It was getting cold out, and yet his hands were warm, as I felt them move up under my shirt.

I was confused and couldn't really enjoy the whole situation, because I could feel Ray's eye's burning on me. It was quite awkward. You would have thought he would have takin a walk or somethin.

I kept hearing voices in the bak of my head askind, "Is this what a proper young lady does?"

This was one of the first times, I started to wonder if I really was a bad seed. I obviously had to much of my real parent's blood flowing through my veins.

CONTINUED

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