Damn! Its been forever since I last updated. I wanted to, but my phone lines were out from the ice storm. A lot has happened since then, but nothing major.

I,ve been hella busy with christmas and 2 little kids, plus I've been working 12 hour shifts. It's so depressing, it's christmas and It doesnt feel like it to me, because I havent been able to do anything for the holiday because Ive been workin so much. All I see is the back of that damn warehouse. I guess working in a Toy store at christmas time wasnt the brightest idea? Oh well, I really like my job, for like the first time in my life.

Stoot is an asshole that just wants to please because he's desperate for some ass and attention, but he really doesnt like anyone.

i saw Mike the rock guyat the mall again. He didnt see me though. I was kinda pissed though because he was holding the "good times *burp* " girl's hand.

(she says good times after every sentance like the chicks from SNL, and she belches a lot too!)

I don't know why I am pissed about it-its no of my business, and besides Im married so it's not like Im ever going to go after him. He did say he'd never date her though because she could be his sister because she looks so much like him. He had some new peircing-he looked toally hot. For awhile, (right after I wrote how hot he was) I was repulsed by him because for some odd reason I think of Rob Schneider every time I think of mike-I dunno. He's way hotter than Rob shneider, so I dont know why I think of him.

He didnt see me though, becuase I stayed hiding In Vonnie's car. i didnt want to talk to them because I was stoned out of my mind. Vonnie(my friends mom), and I work together and we like to get stoned on our breaks) hahaha how funny is that. The government makes public service announcements about people like me! Vonnie is fuckin cool-she has all kinds of cool stories. She was at the origional Woodstock, and she was in a satanic cult, and did witch craft in the early seventies. Shes not of those religions anymore.

Auntie is still driving me nuts-I dont even want to spill about it because its makes my bloodpressure rise so much. Whatever, I just want the holidays to go smoothely.

I sometimes wonder what people really think of me. Like they laugh, but is it because I'm funny, or just because I'm weird. When they joke around like they want to argue with me playfully, is that all it is, or is it just the sugar coated version of how they really feel. I don't know why I worry about it so much. I dont want to be ordinary, but I dont want to be a freak either. Im so fuckin paranoid I need to be on meds. i think everyone thinks I'm fucked up and weird and no one gets me, oh well.

I'd rather be anything but ordinary please.

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