I have a headache, and I feel lousy and Im not sure why. Once again, I feel like I have to much stuff to do and not enough time, and yet Ill sit and do nothing with the little bit of free time I have.

I'm back to feeling like noone likes me and people talk behind my back. I think the people who I thought are my friends aren't really. They just talk to me when they have free time for amusement. I feel like I'm a burden to everyone. I'm the poor crazy friend/daughter/whatever that they feel sorry for but dont know what to do with them. People never tell you what they think, and they are so fuckin stupid to think that I don't pick up on this,isnulting my intelligence like I can't pick up on the different tone of voice, or strained conversation, like they have to take a piss but dont want to be rude and leave while Im in mid sentance. Or how a bout the random subtle little sarcastic remarks that they dont think i'll pick up on, and know what they really mean? Whats really funny is when I blow them off they wanna get pissed and feel offended. Whatever.

Why do people always make me feel like a fuckin charity case, like talking to me without spitting on me is their one good deed for the day? Fuck them, cuz nine times out of ten I dont really want to talk to them. There are few exceptions to the rules like my sister jeanette. My own sister who lives 1200 mile away acts like she can't wait to get off the phone with me and I hardly ever get to talk to her. Whatever.

Sometimes I just really don't want to be alone so I'll hang out with people I dont like and they dont like me-but I'll do it, because me being with myself is scary.

It doesn't matter Im a fighter.

When I, thought I knew you

Thinking, that you were true

I guess I, I couldn't trust

'Cause your bluff time is up

'Cause I've had enough

You were, there by my side

Always, down for the ride

But your, joy ride just came down in flames

'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating

You probably think that I hold resentment for you

But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong

'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do

I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through

So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder

It makes me that much wiser

So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster

Made my skin a little bit thicker

Makes me that much smarter

So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming

All of, your backstabbing

Just so, you could cash in

On a good thing before I realized your game

I heard, you're going around

Playing, the victim now

But don't, even begin

Feeling I'm the one to blame

'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies

Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore

Uh, no more, oh no, it's over

'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture

I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down

So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger

Makes me work a little bit harder

Makes me that much wiser

So thanks for making me a fighter

Made me learn a little bit faster

Made my skin a little bit thicker

It makes me that much smarter

So thanks for making me a fighter

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