I feel so trashy to be crazy over a guy that is married, has been to jail, and is completely dangerous-but I can't help it! I said I wasn't gonna care-but I get soo happy just thinking that I might run into him at the grocery store, or the mall! How pathetic.

The four finger Don is out of jail! {lol -thats my code name for him!} I'm like a little school girl in love with a teen idol!

He's kinda like Tony Soprano. He's got power, money, friends, women, and so on...

He has beautful eyes, and an amazing smile-and confidence out the ass, without being arrogant.

What would a shrink with a respectable degree say about me? I'm married to a correctional officer that claims to be a republican, body buildin, jesus lovin christian-

and all I want is a thug that can hold his own, throw down if he needs to, and look good, while hes doin it. BUT Not just any thug-no...THE THUG-THE BOSS-THE DON.

The one every guy wants to be, and every girl wants.

The guy that can be the sweet lover, funny kid next door,

but

can put fear into the eyes of the same men that love him. The one everyone knows not to fuck with.

I think thats why I'm so infatuated with Mark Wahlberg, and the correalation between my love for a guy like that and my biological father is phenomenal. My sister, Jeanette-practically my twin- is the same way. It's obvious why she's with Jeff.

I don't think that I want him because It's different from what I've got.

I think it's what I always wanted, but the -good girl I was tryin so hard to be for everone else-wouldnt be seen with the likes of THE DON-so there I have Brandon-THE HUSBAND.

I've been playin him down in my head for six months while he's been in jail, and I thought I had It under control-Until I heard the word that he was out.

This is not helping my self esteem at all; I belong on Jerry Springer, hehehehe!

Well I'm energized about losing weight again, I have lots of motivation now, this is more real than the whole louis thing-so here I go!

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

This is what ANGIE MARTINEZ says about thug luv:

[Angie martinez]

I just can't explain why women are attracted to danger

A thug and a player look the same in linen but one's packin a banger

I guess it's the anger that be in they eyes

mixed together with a pinch of they sensual side-- that gets me energized!

I can't help it -[ i got a jonz for a boy that was born to ride,sort of guy-that leave my momma mortified) he's got a touch of class and a million buck smile!

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