This snow is giving me the break I need. The kids are off school, and I'm hardly on the schedule at work this week. No schedules, or regimes, just like I prefer. Now running on Nikkie time!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I thought I was going to live my life alone

in darkness and seclusion...yeah, you know

I've been out here trying to mix with these animals

and it just left me full of humiliated confusion

so I stagger back home and wait for nothing

but the solitary confinement of my room

spits me back onto the streets

and now I'm desperate and in need of human contact

and then I meet you and my whole world changes....

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I have always been a very standoffish person, and have never been good with others touching me -it just weirds me out . Lack of physical contact I think plays a very important part in a human beings emotional state. My physical contact has been very limited espcially lately. I'm too selective.

There was a program once where they took undernourished, orphaned babys and allowed lonely old ladies (who had been forgotten about in nursing homes) spend time with them every day, rocking them, and loving them. The babies (most who were drug addicted since birth, abandoned, sick or pre-mature) had a higher survival rate than those of the sick babies that hadn't spent time with the elderly ladies. Also, many of the women ended up living longer than the women in the nursing home who hadn't participated in the program.

Now that I think about it, love, sex, physical contact and emotional bonding is a necessity. One that is up there with food and shelter. We can't deny ourselves or other people of this, or only a slow death is imminent.

I sit and think about the people that I wish I could hold and be near, and I can't0- for varied reasons. I think about how just having them hold me would be more beautiful than poetic words, and would heal all the wounds of my soul. I long for that...for them...

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We walk the narrow path

Beneath the smoking skies

Sometimes you can barely tell the difference

Between darkness and light

Do we have faith in what we believe?

The truest test is when we cannot-

we cannot see

I hear pounding feet in the streets below

And the women crying and the children know

That there's something wrong

It's hard to believe that love will prevail

It won't rain all the time

The sky won't fall forever

And though the night seems long

Your tears won't fall forever

When I'm lonely I lie awake at night

And I wish you were here, I miss you

Can you tell me

Is there something more to believe in?

Or is this all there is?

And the pounding feet in the streets below

And a window breaks and a woman falls

There's something wrong

It's hard to believe that love will prevail

It won't rain all the time...

Last night I had a dream

You came into my room

You took me into your arms

Whispering and kissing me

And telling me to still believe

(Within the emptiness of

The burning cities against which

We set our darkest of selves)

Until finally I felt safe and warm

I fell asleep in your arms

And when I awoke I cried again

For you were gone

Can you hear me?

It won't rain all the time...

Jane Siberry - It Can't Rain All The Time Lyrics

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WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT ARE WE-US HUMANS I MEAN (jon conner)

"IT'S YOUR NATURE TO DESTROY YOURSELFS"

THE TERMINATOR

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