only 20.1 carbs for the day! woohoo! Ketosis here I come!

I watched my real mom try to avoid me...she didn't know I was watching her, she thought she snuck by unnoticed.

Is she wondering what I am doing? Does she miss me? Does she want to catch a secret glance of me? NO! I dare her to tell some sob story about how she really does love me, and wants to be a mother figure to me!

Bitch! I hope she suffers the pain of a thousand deaths.

Here is that good Charlotte song, I can't help it. I have to post it. It best describes how I feel about my real mom. I just switched the word "dad" with "mom"

I'M SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT MAILING HER A COPY OF IT.

Artist: Good Charlotte

Song: Emotionless

hey MOM

I�m writing to you

not to tell you, that I still hate you

just to ask you

how you feel ...

...and how we fell apart

...how this fell apart

are you happy out there in this great wide world?

do you think about your SONS?

do you miss your LITTLE GIRL?

when you lay your head down

how do you sleep at night?

do you even wonder if we�re all right?

but we�re all right

we�re all right

[chorus]

it�s been a long hard road without you by my side

why weren�t you there the nights that we cried

you broke my FATHER'S heart

you broke your children for life

it�s not ok,

but we�re all right

I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes

but those were just a long lost memory of mine

I spent so many years learning how to survive

now, I�m writing just to let you know that I�m still alive

the days I spent so cold, so hungry

were full of hate

I was so angry

those scars run deep inside this tattooed body

there�s things I�ll take, to my grave

but I�m okay

I�m okay

[chorus]

It�s been a long hard road without you by my side

why weren�t you there all the nights that we cried

you broke my FATHER�s heart

you broke your children for life

it�s not ok,

but we�re all right

I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes

but those were just a long lost memory of mine

now, I�m writing just to let you know that I�m still alive

yeah, I�m still alive

sometimes

I forgive

yeah and this time

I�ll admit

that I miss you, said I miss you

[chorus]

it�s been a long hard road without you by my side

why weren�t you there all the nights that we cried

you broke my mother�s heart

you broke your children for life

it�s not ok,

but we�re all right

i remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes

but those were just a long lost memory of mine

now, i�m writing just to let you know that were still alive

and sometimes

i forgive

and this time

i�ll admit, that i miss you, miss you

hey mom

Normally when I would start thinking about her, or other things that were upsetting to me, I'd go do something to get my mind off of it. (like eat!)

So right now, Not only am I doing without a lot of my favorite foods, I am reminded that I am doing life without the love of my mother. Even my adopted mom makes me feel like she loves me when I am doing things the way she wants. I think she's dissapointed in me. Or, maybe it's just some messed up part in my brain that makes me think these things.

Damn, I need some donuts, or at least a drink.

next -- previous DISCLAIMER