desolate and void

of any feeling

inadequacy

loser mentality

burrying itself inside

friend of mine,

oh friend of mine

why do you keep me

your comparison to yourself

you think you look better

to others -than me

make me look dirty

so you feel good

friend of mine

o friend of mine

why do you need me?

when i think i could

just love you free

you do wrong by me

i call you out

so you lie and shout

friend of mine

oh friend of mine

why do you keep me?

you dont exist

who i love

i cant see

all this shit

you keep on me

friend of mine

oh friend of mine

why do you need me

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Im in my pathetic mode again- i hate being here. i just want to turn inwards

because paranoia is setting in. i dont trust anyone-i dont know how many times i need to get hurt before i learn not to comunicate. its so hard because its who i am. I was a fucking communications major in college! i dont want to get close to anyone because

im always disappointed. Am i just hte loser not seeing all my faults-although everyone loves to point them out to me? do i just bring out the worst qualities in everyone?

Do i have to high expectations? im in a mental rut, and no matter what i do, i hate myself for it. i cant fix this.

========================================

the following was taken from a website i like

-the blue dragonfly-

i think im gonna try sticking to it

(like i dont already feel lonely)

My Future - A Mission Statement

My future will be spent with those who want me

not with those who constantly seek to leave me

My future will be spent with those who believe in me

not those who seek ways to disprove me

My future will be spent with those who support me

not those who seek support from others

My future will be spent with those who appreciate me

not those who take all I have then call themselves poor

My future will be spent with those who love me

not with those who are lonely in my presence

My future will be spent with those who lift me up

not with those whom I correctly anticipate hurting me

My future will be spent with those who make me bloom

not with those who cast me in their shadow

My Future will be spent with those who want to be with me

not with those who seek to exclude me

and with that... my song of the moment

christina aguilera's

beautiful

its kinda funny that i have an eminem layout and a christina song

Trixiegirl's music next -- previous DISCLAIMER